Some people always ask: What is in a healthy relationship? They seem not to understand the true ingredients of a love relationship. To them, merely living with someone they say they love is all that it takes. The nature and quality of interactions between lovers indicate the intensity of the existing love between them. In every relationship, the importance of communication between couples cannot be overemphasized. It is through constant communication that trust can be established between couples.
In A Loving Relationship There Is Adequate Communication
The door leading to hatred – the opposite of love – between couples can be slammed if there happens to be adequate communication between them. In human relationships there has always been a thin wall between love and hatred, and the best antidote in expelling doubts that often lead to mutual hatred is communication. Should there happen that there is any disturbance in their relationship, they should endeavor to expel it. the art of dispelling disturbances is workable only if there exist channels of communication between them.
Lovers should be able to communicate with each other using a soothing language. If they are unable to address each other using a soothing language, then how will they be able to oppose obstacles threatening their union with patience? In order that the existing love between couples is not trapped in inertia, there is always the need for lovers to develop unique gifts of cutting through complex issues and forging consensus. How will this happen without constant communication between them?
The lack of constant communication in any loving relationship tends to make couples involved to start distancing themselves from each other – until such a time that either of them finds excuses to start being unfaithful. There and then, the love that existed between them turns into a breeze that wafts through their hearts into thin air – as if it never existed. This is what is happening today in this our “Digital Age”. It is happening because couples are so busy that they barely have enough time for each other. To be sure, we are now marrying later than our parents and divorcing faster!
In A Healthy Relationship There Is Mutual Trust
With constant communication comes mutual trust. At a time that there exists trust between loving couples, there is bound to be mutual feeling of affection and tenderness toward each other. If a woman’s trust for her man were intense, she would definitely not hesitate to fulfill her responsibilities toward her man. These so-called responsibilities are of no practical significance – they are merely acts aimed at proving to her man how much she loves and trusts him. A man would also do well to fulfill his part of responsibilities towards his woman in the same manner.
Consider for a moment, what Diana, The People’s Princes had to say about the quality of her interactions with Charles – The Prince Of Wales. ” I threw myself down the stairs bearing in mind I was carrying a child. She said describing one incident (emphasis mine). “Queen Elizabeth comes, absolutely horrified, shaking, she’s so frightened…and Charles went out riding. (emphasis mine). The Princess later died at age 36 in a 1997 auto accident in Paris with her companion, Dodi Al Fayed. In order not to feel imprisoned within any relationship, lovers have to communicate more to build trust between them.
Should there exist mutual trust between couples, their hearts will be fortresses of love that entertains no one else but each other. Each of them would effortlessly reciprocate the love and trust given to them without any hesitation. That could be a win-win situation for the both of them. Where there exists mutual trust, both partners will guard each other’s property jealously during their absence and would not strive to squander it wantonly.
In A Loving Relationship There Is A Need To Keep Promises
As humans we are all leery of people who break their promises. In a loving relationship, effective and open communication between the couples lead to the building of trust. Then comes the hard work of maintaining the trust. The main ingredient in maintaining the trust between couples is to keep promises you both make to each other. If you cannot fulfill a promise why then make it to your partner? And if you make the promise and can no longer keep it, explain it to your partner why you can’t. Do not wait to give excuses after they find out that you have broken a promise or two.
If you promise your partner you are going to have sex all night vs. watching night baseball, fulfill it. If you have a reason that compels you to skip it for another day, let them know about it. It maybe that you have to work on night shifts for some few days at work. Give them a reason not to doubt your excuses.
In A Healthy Relationship There is God-Consciousness
This writer is keenly aware that people who dwell so much on religion are usually considered old-fashioned in today’s “Digital World”. However, If you think religion belongs to the past and that we live in a new age of reason, you need to check out the facts: About eighty-four percent (84%) of the world’s population identifies with a religious group. Members of this demographic are generally younger and produce more children than those who have no religious affiliation. Therefore, the world is getting more religious, not less – although there are significant geographical variations.
According to 2015 figures, Christians form the biggest religious group by some margin, with 2.3 billion adherents or 31.2% of the total world population of 7.3 billion. Next come Muslims (1.8 billion, or 24.1%), Hindus (1.1 billion, or 15.1%) and Buddhists (500 million, or 6.9%). But the third biggest category is missing from the above list. In 2015, 1.2 billion people in the world, or 16%, said they have no religious affiliation at all. This does not mean all those people are committed atheists; some – perhaps most – have a strong sense of spirituality or belief in God, gods or guiding forces, but they don’t identify with or practise an organised religion (Harriet Sherwood, The Guardian, 27 August 2018).
What these statistics mean is that belief in God or a higher power made people better human beings. That is exactly why couples who believe in a higher power can better cope with the stress of living together; keeping an open communication between them; trusting each other and making and fulfilling promises to each other.
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