During my sojourn in one African country, one of my friends there told me how he sometimes hear some women complain about their love lives. They were often quoted as saying: “These days, if you don’t have a ‘spare driver’ your husband wouldn’t respect you.” As inquisitive as I have always been, I asked my friend what the expression “spare driver” meant. To my utter dismay, he said it meant keeping another lover beside your husband. Add to this the following expression: “One man’s wife could be another man’s lover”.
As we all know, a spare driver isn’t the actual driver – he is like the co-pilot who takes over the control of the aircraft in case the pilot becomes incapacitated. So to speak, the “spare driver’s” services will only be needed if the main driver (the husband), becomes incapacitated. The worst aspect of this triangular relationship is that, the main driver is never aware he even has an assistant. To be sure, no wo(man) would like to share their partners with anyone else unless, of course, there is something wrong in their relationship.
With A Dignified And True Love Comes The Fusion Of The Hearts And Souls Of The Both Of You
Does a wo(man) truly loves if either of them opt for a “spare driver?” Turning to whoever is in the “spare driver’s” seat. Is your love for a married wo(man) built upon sincerity, purity and affection? Or that it’s only built on satisfying your sexual instincts through an illegal way? What would be your fate if you get caught by your “boss?” To the married wo(man) seriously looking to recruit a “spare driver”, if your love for your partner is going to be shared by a “spare driver” then why would you get married to this partner of yours in the first place?
From the viewpoint of true love and relationship advice, either of you might be rattling the wrong cage of true love. Your love for your partner isn’t based on that true love whose foundation is affection, compassion, tenderness and humility. Because it’s only out of the existence of a dignified and true love that the bricks of a matrimonial home will remain solid. Because with a dignified and true love comes the fusion of the hearts and souls of the both of you. Thereafter, you begin to act like one individual. Then of course, the rainbow of love engulfs you – cultivating in you the acceptance, with a proud equanimity, the misfortunes of life. In a true love situation, you and your partner are meant to be together through thick and thin.
True Lovers Are Supposed To Be Best Friends Who Enjoy Being With Each Other Than Being With Someone Else
Yes. This is so because they have the same goals. Devote time to share their most intimate thoughts. And if one has a passionate pastime, the other learns to like it too. This doesn’t mean that true lovers can’t possess different personality traits – like watching night baseball vs.making love all night! Rather, true lovers should try to know each other very well. So that, they internalize the other’s thoughts and values.
If you don’t think a bit like your partner, you will never understand each other. Love, after all, is compassion and humility. In the case of anyone of you thinking of hiring a “spare driver”, if you had accepted and internalized your partner, there would have been very little that could tear the both of you apart. It could be that your partner/spouse is a philanderer and you want to retaliate. It could also be that your spouse is incapable of “heating up” the marital bed. But because of the fundamental unshakable bond you vowed to uphold together, you should have sat down with your partner to discuss how best both of you could light up your love life!
Who Gets What, When And How In A Romantic Relationship?
In his essay, The Behavior Of Married Couples, Charles Lamb (1775-1834), the prominent English literally critic wrote: “Nothing is to me more distasteful than the entire complacency and satisfaction which beam in the countenances of a newly-married couple.” truly, this complacency and satisfaction by newlyweds could soon change into diffidence and frustration if the foundation of this marriage is deficient of true love.
There are sufficient reasons for everyone involved in a romantic relationship to be circumspect. and avoid complacency. The challenge always seems to be : Who gets what, when and how in this relationship? The what, how and when questions. If considered carefully by true lovers, would definitely create the good times for them. Not only that, it would also keep these good times rolling for years on end.
In a romantic relationship who gets the sex, the care, the respect, the warmness and the consideration? How do they want to get them? When do they want to get them? In such a relationship, both partners do have specific needs at specific times – and in a particular manner. In a romantic relationship partners are expected to be tactful – to know how to act in any given situation. All in all, savoire-faire is an exceedingly important asset of a man or woman in love. Sometimes, even the most successful marriage could be wrecked due to a lack of savoir faire.
No Matter Who We Fall In Love With, We All Face The Dilemmas Of Love
In the light of true love and relationship advice, do we all need to question love throughout life? The answer is an emphatic Yes! That will be the case if we fail to understand the what, when and how in any given relationship. ” Does my husband really loves me? Won’t he abandon me in the course of time for a much younger wife? These days, he always returns late from work…, and when I attempt to ask him why, he yells at me. Is he having an affair? One housewife lamented.
” Is my boyfriend serious about marriage? Why is it that, anytime I bring up the subject of marriage he tries to change the topic, yet; every morning, he tells me he feels like a robin that has just caught the first worm of spring. And that he loves me more than the previous day….yet; he only takes interest in ‘sliding between the sheets with me’, he is hesitant to slip a ring on my finger. He says he loves me more and not less; what sort of love is this?” Another woman complained bitterly.
Feel free to share your thoughts and comments with us.