Love In A Corrupt Patriarchal World

Love in this patriarchal world dictated that women movements around the world create new international networks to address a variety of specific issues including domestic violence, women’s access to education and health services and non-discrimination in employment. To be sure, the crimes committed against womanhood have had several implications – from psychological to existential. They are indeed crimes of moral turpitude. We all are aware of the bride burning in some parts of India, and the female genital mutilation (FGM) in some parts of Africa and Latin America.

If we cast a glance at the mirror of history, we will see that about 1500 years ago, the desert Arabs of Arabia used to bury their female offspring alive in order to get rid of them, since it was anathema to have a female born into a family. Women generally have also been denied access to education in parts of Africa and Asia – until recently. Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, and others like them may have been oppressed pawns, who had no choice but to use their feminine wiles to negotiate their way in this corrupt patriarchal world.

He Was To Me An Abnormal Test-Tube Baby

My good African friend, “Danjumah”. Not his real name, was to me an abnormal test-tube baby bred by forces of a corrupt patriarchal world in their romantic laboratories. I happened to meet Danjumah in the late1980s in Damascus, Syria, when I was a student of Arabic language there. He was an economic migrant coming out of Africa – a continent famously described in French as Le Continent qui pleure (the weeping Continent). I do disagree with this depiction of Africa – after all, there are so many smiling faces on that beautiful Continent!

At that time, it was customary for African migrants to meet at a particular location during weekends to discuss Africa’s woes and also their plight in a foreign land. 

Danjumah’s home was their place of choice. Here, they would discuss everything under the sun, including love and romance. Danjumah for instance was an unrepentant proponent of the idea of living together before marriage. He believed that playing house for a few weeks or months (and even years) with someone he wants to marry was not only appropriate but also justified.

Danjumah believed in the try it before I buy notion. He was the leader of that majority camp. This writer, a true love advocate – was the leader of the minority camp – that believed in marriage before sex. The minority camp’s argument was that; true lovers do not need log fires to keep them warm – not even during the cold winter nights. They believed that, whenever there was true love, marriage acted as a log fire that keeps romantic relationships even warmer! 

Conversely, the majority camp led by Danjumah would reject any woman they slept with and did not like.

They Needed A Friendlier And Kinder Environment To Exploit Women

Danjumah for example, did not give a damn about the looks of a particular woman, or for that matter her disposition. He was only interested in the (excuse me) the sweetness of the pudding. To him, the sweetness of the pudding was the best determinant in choosing a wife. Let’s pause for a moment, was the environment in Syria at that time conducive for Danjumah’s sexual escapades? Did he realize the realities on the ground? That he and his majority campers couldn’t put theory into practice in such a conservative close-knit Muslim society? Yes they did. But did they give up? No, they didn’t.

He and his supporters on the left side of the aisle knew they risked their lives trying to actualize their dreams in the sort of environment they lived in. They needed a friendlier and kinder environment. He and members of his camp often complained of the mam-nou’a (forbidden) environment in Syria. After all, this was a close-knit Islamic society that did not condone illicit sex. But they had a consolation that they were just on transit in Syria. And that as soon as they were able to save enough bucks, they would quit for other favorable destinations.

Several Years Past, Then I Got The Wind Danjumah Was In Taiwan

As a true love advocate, I tried to locate him on the Island of Taiwan to find out if he had re-discovered the true meaning of love and re-fashioned his old ideas about love and romance. I did locate him easily in Taiwan. He was then “shacking up” with a certain Filipino lady who was several years older than he was. To Him, his girlfriend was never to be his wife. She was to be considered only as a usable and expendable commodity. He surprisingly had not changed a bit since I first met him in Syria. He was still that happy and insouciant person I knew years back.

He was good company, and did not burden himself with worries and troubles. He walked through life with enviable insouciance. This writer, finally came to the conclusion that, trying to make him understand the meaning of true love was only a gamble. Indeed, it was as uncertain as “throwing your wallet into the crowd and hoping your wife would catch it!” Unfortunately, this Filipino lady had been lured away by the bright lights of fake love. It was only after Danjumah left her for another destination – this time – Japan, did she realize she had lost the battle for his heart!

Guilt and pain, then became terrible exchanges for this hapless Filipino lady, for she had allowed herself to be lured away by the bright lights of fake love. She had good reasons to feel crestfallen. It was not long before she also packed up and left for her hometown in the Philippines.

Conclusion

It is imperative to state that, the status which women have acquired during this present era did not come about due to the kindness of men or due to natural progress. It was rather achieved due to a long and arduous struggle over a period of a century and a half. A Roman wife was described by one historian as: “a babe, a minor, a ward, a person incapable of doing or acting anything according to her own individual taste, a person continually under the tutelage and guardianship of her husband.” This low opinion about women still lurks in the minds of men like Danjumah who still believe women are only to be taken as sex objects!

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