Love And Teenage Sex – Is Abstinence-Only Education Realistic?



Nowadays, many teens wonder if “abstinence-only” sex education is realistic. A high school student, in her attempt to connect love to teenage sex, counts on her fingers as she poses a question to a couple of high school classmates. “How many girls in our class were pregnant before our junior year?” The 18 year-old student asks. They came out with about 5 out of seventy-five girls. It’s an illustration, they say of teenage life in America.

During a time when sexually-transmitted diseases (STD) presented a serious challenge to young people, then U.S. President Bush suggested doubling federal funding for “abstinence-only” sex education. But teens saw that approach as unrealistic.” No matter what adults say, some kids are going to have sex anyway.” The high school students concluded. There was a time, when, in the U.S. state of Minnesota, health officials released an independent evaluation of an “abstinence-only” pilot program called Education Now And Babies Later – one of the first evaluation of any program of its kind.

The survey found that sexual activity has doubled among junior high school students who took part in it. Evaluators recommended broadening the program to include more information about contraception.

Waiting Until Marriage To have Sex or Just Until You Are Older?

“Abstinence-Only” proponents questioned the study’s validity and said that the program would have been more successful if it suggested teens waited until marriage to have sex – rather than just until they were older. “Waiting Until Marriage.” says a 16 year-old high school student, “I think it’s a good idea.” She had learned about sexually-transmitted diseases during a recent health class, and hearing that information helped reinforce her decision to wait for sex.” You realize how dangerous it can be, she said.

However, another 18 year-old rolls her eyes at the thought of waiting until marriage. “I’m not going to say ‘no’ if I’m dating someone for a long time.” She says. To her, having sex is a personal decision that should be made carefully and with direct simple information about reliable birth control. That information she says, would be more helpful to her and her peers than being told ‘just to say no’ – or as she did for one class, taking a “pretend baby” home and caring for it for a weekend to learn the responsibilities of parenthood.

One may be forced to ask: “Should teenagers go to bed with someone they don’t even love? And if they have to love before having sex, do they understand what love mean? It wasn’t really that hard, I even took my ‘baby’ to the movies, with a couple of friends,” the 18 year-old girl says. Noting that her parent’s own situation did much more to help her want to avoid pregnancy early in life. ” My Mom had four kids before age 25″, she says. “It wasn’t easy”. Her classmate and fellow senior says her parents have influenced her ideas about sex too – but in a different way,

Love, Sex And Morality

“I know my parents would be disappointed if I got pregnant before I was married.” A certain teenage said. ” I would feel terrible because my parents have such a high regard and respect for me. ” ” I would feel like I let them down.” She added thoughtfully. Reading between the lines, one realizes that the line between love and sex has become blurred as far as teenage sex is concerned. Should every love affair lead to sex?

From the foregoing, one also realizes that, the “world of sex” belongs to the man. It seems it has always been the man who is apt to demand for sex from his partner, and if she obliges, she might end up finding herself at the short end of the stick – and unwanted pregnancy- that might have to be aborted. To be sure, majority of Americans are ” Moral Absolutists”. However, that may be changing as teenage sex is no longer seen as a ‘crime’ against love. Sex should always be the inevitable consequence of true love – not fake love.

A 1970 Survey About Sex And Morality

In 1970, a survey of more than 300 adults entitled “Sex And Morality” was conducted in the US. At the time. It was the only survey of sex and morality in a representative sample of the US population before the spread of AIDS. The Kinsey Institute Sex Survey was aimed at helping researchers understand how AIDS was spread. “A majority disapproved of homosexuality, prostitution, extra marital sex,” the authors of the survey wrote. Furthermore, they said, “a majority of Americans are “moral absolutists” in that they see these behaviors as “always wrong.”

Extra marital sex was described as “always wrong” or “almost always wrong” by 87 percent of the respondents. Homosexual relations among people who don’t love each other were described the same way by 88 percent of the respondents. Even among individuals who loved each other, homosexual sex was disapproved by 79 percent of the respondents. Eighty-two percent disapproved of teen-age girls having premarital sex; 73 percent disapproved of teen-age boys having premarital sex.

Seventy percent disapproved of adult premarital sex by women, and 65 percent disapproved of adult premarital sex by men. Fewer respondents disapproved of sexual acts if the partners loved each other – leaving little doubt, therefore that, many respondents still cherished the ideal of love as a basis for sexual behavior- the authors said.

Is It still Okay To Have Sex If The Partners Love Each Other?

According to the Survey, and reading from the last sentence, only a few number of respondents thought it was still wrong to have sexual acts even if the partners loved each other. Therefore, majority thought it was alright to have sex if love was the basis for that behavior. In a romantic relationship who are the ones who tend to suffer the most if the love turns to be a fake one?

Sometime ago, a Church of England report said: : living in sin,” should no longer be regarded as sinful and the phrase should be dropped – given the number of people who now live together before marriage. “The phrase. ‘Living in sin’ stigmatizes and isn’t helpful,” said Bishop Alan Morgan, who chaired the first major study of the family by Britain’s state religion for 20 years.

There are those who also think that sex isn’t a crime. According to them, it’s the motivation of the universe. They say that no psychologically or physically normal adult or teenager can resist it. But we have to remember that morals, aferall, never change in time. What is right will always be right.


A 19 Year-Old Boy’s Idea About Sex

A 19 year-old college student once said: ” Boys like to brag about how many girls they have ‘engaged’ when chatting with one another. There is nothing wrong with having sex. The only thing is to make sure you wear a condom to avoid possible consequences. He added. Ah Yuan, the Chinese college student said he wouldn’t mind if his girlfriend had a one-night stand with someone else. But that he would not try it himself because he feels it’s ‘dirty.’

This tells us to what extent the connection between love and sex have been misconstrued in teen-age culture.

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