Islam encourages the husband to treat his wife well. As the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has said: “The best among you are those who are best to their wives.” (Ibn Majah). Mothers in Islam are highly honored. Islam recommends treating them in the best way. A man came to the Prophet and said: “O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my companionship?” The Prophet replied: ” Your mother.” The man said: “Then who?” The Prophet said: ” Then your mother.” The man further asked: ” Then who?” The Prophet said: “Then your mother.” The man asked again: ” Then who?” The Prophet then said: “Then your father.” (Muslim and Bukhari ). Notice that the Prophet mentioned your mother three times before then saying your father.
When two people fall in love, they tend to have responsibilities toward each other. In this patriarchal world of ours, the burden of proof rests with the man to show real concern to his partner and accord her the necessary companionship she desires. God says in the Holy Qur’an:
“Live with them on a footing
Of kindness and equity…(Qur’an, 4:19)
This verse was addressed to men – not to women. Living with your lovers on a footing of kindness and equity results in the strengthening of the bond between lovers. Regardless of the material comfort a man offers his partner, if he is abusive, treating his partner always with scorn, the sort of tranquility and peaceful co-existence that is supposed to exist between them will be lost.
A Woman’s Rights Over Her Husband In Islam
One of the companions of the Prophet of Islam, Muawiya, the son of Haydah, said: ” I asked the Messenger of God: ” O the Messenger of God, what is the right of a wife of anyone of us upon him?” The Prophet said: ” You should feed her as you feed yourself; clothe her as you clothe yourself; Do not strike her face; Do not use abusive language on her; Do not desert her – unless within the marital home.” (narrated by Ahmad and Abu Dawood). Therefore, there is no distinction or preferential treatment for a man at the expense of his wife.
After the Prophet (peace be upon him), mentioned the rights of a woman to feeding and clothing as a veneration to her, he added: “Do not strike her face; do not use abusive language on her.” Why should you strike the face of your beloved wife, after you had assured her that you loved everything about her face? Why would you utter a stream of profanities on her, even though, during the period of courtship; you talked from your heart into her heart – with that sweet and smooth voice flowing with honey – and as you talked to her, your eyes had a sleepy look as if you were the victim of a secondary smoke from an opium den?
It is part of showing your love to your wife that you are not supposed to desert the marital home when you get angry. Leaving your wife alone in the house after a contentious argument will only create a big hole through which the devil passes into her heart. She then begins to become suspicious about you, her feelings towards you might also begin to undergo a gradual change. Soon, the marriage rod that held your marriage together begins to curve – until such a time that it becomes as curved as a bow!
At this time, nothing, not evening marriage counseling or the courts will be able to straighten it. Here, the only solution could be a divorce. In order to preserve love between them, Islam requires a man to remain inside his home – even if he has been angered by his wife. This is meant to assure her that, despite the fact he is angry with her, he still loves her.
Islam Recommends Engaging In Foreplay Before Making Love
The prevailing atmosphere should be that of egalitarianism and fairness. Even on the part of a sexual encounter, a woman has a right to the enjoyment of sex – to the fullest – just like her male counterpart. Like the man, she also has sexual cravings that need to be toned down. “If any of you has sex with his wife let he be true to her. If he attains his pleasure before her, then he shouldn’t hurry her away until she also attains her pleasure.” (narrated by Anas )
Foreplay between the spouses before actually engaging into sexual intercourse is immensely important – especially for the wife – and a vital ingredient for a happy and prosperous marriage, which should never be neglected. The husband should sexually arouse his wife before having sex. It is indeed selfish on the husband’s part that he fulfils his sexual needs and desires, whilst his wife remains unsatisfied, discontented and groaning!
Failure in satisfying one’s wife (on the marital bed) can have terrible consequences on one’s marriage. That is why the Prophet forbade sexual intercourse without foreplay. This is in order to guarantee and protect the sexual pleasures and rights of the wife before foreplay. Islam recognizes a woman’s need of love, affection and foreplay. Women tend to be more romantic than men. They like to hear tender words, to be praised, to feel that they are being cared for, to be the main concern of their husbands and the one to whom he directs his ardent love that’s the reason why the Prophet forbade engaging in sexual intercourse before foreplay.
Kissing One’s Spouse Is Also Of Utmost Importance In General
It was the tradition of the Prophet (p.b.u.h) to always kiss his wives. The Prophet’s wife A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h) would kiss one of his wives and then leave for prayer (Salat) without performing ablution (wudhu). Urwa says that I asked A’isha: “It must have been you?” (Upon hearing this) A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) smiled.” (narrated by al-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, and al-Nasa’I)
A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) says: “The Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h) would kiss me before leaving for prayers, and he would not perform an ablution.” (narrated by al-Darqutni)
The above two narrations indicate the recommendation of kissing one’s spouse. They also show the importance of greeting the wife when entering the house with a kiss and departing with a kiss. This was the practice of the Prophet of Islam. Thus, it is inappropriate for husbands to leave the home in a hurry without even greeting the wife in a proper manner with hugs and kisses, and then entering the house with the first question on whether food is ready or not, whether the mechanic was able to fix the car, or whether his creditors came looking for him.
In terms of women, the whole world is developing. There is no “developed world” when women’s economic and political status is the measure, and inequality impedes their progress. That was the consensus among the 15,000 – including 2000 Americans who attended the historic World Conference On Women held in Nairobi – Kenya in 1985. Indeed, a study of women in 99 countries documented that in no country are women the equals of men in health, education, employment, social security and even marriage. Only seven countries were rated “very good” in the study. Eighteen were “extremely poor” Interestingly, countries rated “extremely poor” in women’s status – were also extremely poor countries. Poverty and inequality went I hand in hand.
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